there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
