she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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