i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Everclear isn't food dammit
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
