I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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