Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
