Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
