Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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