last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
