Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
