You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
They are going to name an STD after you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
