Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
