Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
