Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
