Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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