I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
