On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
