When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
