His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
