I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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