all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
