I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
