i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
