Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
