Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
