If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize