Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
