Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
