the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
