Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
