pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
