Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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