He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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