I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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