I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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