i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
