They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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