My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
