I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My vagina just clenched in fear
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