I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
