1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Green mimosas i think yes
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
