Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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