Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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