Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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