she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
