Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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