You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
someone owes me an orgasm
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
