did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
