I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Shame is for Republicans.
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