I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Every concussion has its silver lining
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
