just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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